Merry Christmas!

Can't believe it's Christmas Eve allready, time seems to have flown by this year!

Last weekend we had a fair bit of snow, very unusual to see more than a dusting here before Christmas.

It's been bitterly cold all week but yesterday there were signs of a thaw, then this morning we woke to yet more heavy snow!

Luckily it stopped after early morning, otherwise it could have been a bit tricky for Debbie's family coming over Pennines tomorrow.

The pork is in the oven and the turkey is waiting to go in, then we'll be set for the festivities tomorrow.

May we both thank everyone who's dropped by over the last year and wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Paul & Debbie

Happy Anniversary!

It's our wooden wedding anniversary today, we had both booked the day off work and were planning to spend a special day at the coast but alas it wasn't to be with Debbie in her new job and having to work.

It's fitting that it's snowed for Snowbabies on our anniversary, after I dropped Debbie off this morning, I headed into the hills in search of the white stuff.

So from me and my lovely wife Debbie, thank you for reading, we're looking forward to the next five years and beyond!

Paul.

PEKIN DUCK

Got a chinese takeaway the other day.

Got in the car n heard the bag rustle, looked over n seen a pair of eyes looking out of the top of the bag at me then disappear back inside.

I was that scared I nearly crashed, I looked again n saw the eyes lookin at me then disappear again.

I ran back into the chinese with the bag, terrified! I asked the chinese guy "whats going on u"?

He said u no worry, its PEKIN DUCK"!!

The Loyal Wife

There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miserwhen it came to his money. Just before he died, he said to his wife,
When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me."

And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him.

Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her.

When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, "Wait just a minute!" She had a box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it away.

So her friend said, "Girl, I know you weren't fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband." The loyal wife replied, "Listen, I'm an honest loyal wife, I can't go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him."

"You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!!!!?"

"I sure did," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account and wrote him a cheque. If he can cash it, he can spend it."

Nymphomaniac convention

A man boarded an aircraft at London and took his seat; as he settled in he noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the plane. He realized she was heading straight towards his seat and bingo! she took the seat right beside him.

Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, "business trip or vacation?"

She turned, smiled enchantingly and said "Business. I'm going to the annual nymphomaniac convention in the United States".

He swallowed hard, here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs! Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"

"Lecturer," she responded. "I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

"Really", he smiled, "what myths are those?"

"Well," she explained, " one popular myth is that African American men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Greek descent. We have also found that the best potential lovers in all categories are the Irish,"

Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said, "I really shouldn't be discussing this with you, I don't even know your name."

"Tonto," the man said... "Tonto Papadopoulos , but my friends call me Paddy."

Cat Story

A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead.

"How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil.

"Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently.

You did WHAT ? ! ?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.

"You know,"explained the boy,

"I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."

cat wave

Microwave Meals For Birds

I've been making tasty bird treats for the last couple of weeks and they've been going down a storm in the garden. Here's how it's done...

Put a third of a block of lard in a bowl.

Add any bird seed mix into a shallow bowl along with dried mealworms and raisins.

Microwave the lard for 2 minutes.

Pour the melted lard into the bowl of bird food and stir.

Leave to set in a cool place for about half an hour.

**Simples!**

Debbie

MEN!!

If only men would listen

Man driving down road.
Woman driving up same road
They pass each other
Woman yells out her window, "PIG!"
Man yells out his window, "BITCH!"
Man rounds next curve
Crashes into a huge pig in middle of road.


Thought For The Day : If only men would listen.

Debbie ;o)

The Lords Pray

Lord

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep.
One who's handsome, smart & strong,
One who's willy is thick and long.
One who thinks before he speaks,
When he promises to call, he won't wait weeks.
I pray that he be gainfully employed,
And when I spend his cash, he won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man that will make love to my mind,
Knows just what to say when I ask "How bigs my behind?"
One who'll make love till my body is a twitching,
In the hall, the loo, the garden and the kitchen!
I pray that this man will love me no end,
And never attempts to shag my best friend.
And as I kneel and pray by my bed,
I look at the wanker you sent me instead!!!

Amen....

Debbie

Tuesday silliness :o)

Baked Beans!

If this doesn't make you laugh out loud, nothing will.......

Once there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked beans. She loved them but unfortunately, they had always had a very rembarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her.

Then one day she met a man and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry she thought to herself, "He is such a sweet and gentle man, he would never go for this carrying on." She made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

Some months later her car broke down on the way home from work. Since she lived in the country she called her husband and told him that she would be late because she had to walk home. On her way, she passed a small diner and the odour of the baked beans was more than she could stand. Since she still had miles to walk , she figured that she would walk off any ill effects by the time she reached home.

So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home she putt-putted, and upon arriving home she felt reasonably sure she could control it.

Her husband seemed excited to see her and exclaimed delightedly, darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table. She seated herself and just as he was about to remove the blindfold from his wife, the telephone rang. He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned. He then went to answer the telephone.

The baked beans he had consumed were still affecting her and the pressure was ecoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was out of the room she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and let it go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of pulpwood mill. he took her napkin and fanned the air around her vigorously. Then, she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which reminded her of cooked cabbage.

Keeping her ears tuned to the conversation in the other room, she went on like this for another ten minutes. When the telephone farewells signalled the end of there freedom, she fanned the air a few more times with her napkin, placed it on her lap and folded her hands upon it, smiling contentedly to herself.

She was the picture of innocence when her husband returned, apologizing for taking so long, he asked her if she peeked, and she assured him that she had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold, and she was surprised!!

There were twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a "Happy Birthday"!!!

A blast from the past :o)

Its is good to be a woman

1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We can scare male bosses with the mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
3 Taxis stop for us.
4. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
5. No fashion faux pas we make, could ever rival the Speedo.
6. We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.
7. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
8. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear end.
9. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
10. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
11. We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
12. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot.
13. We will never regret piercing our ears.
14. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
15. We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren't listening anyway.

Debbie x

RSPB Old Moor & Park Springs

We had a ride over to RSPB Old Moor on Sunday, taking advantage of the dry weather in-between all this rain we've been having.

I find it incredibly frustrating that the hides there are such a long way from the birds and the bird garden is so dark. Still, it must benefit the wildlife even if it drives a budding wildlife photographer to despair!

We also dropped in at Park Springs, just down the road from Old Moor but by then the sun was beating a hasty retreat so we didn't stay there too long.

Debbie.

Rodley Nature Reserve

I spotted a new reserve the other day and suggested to Paul that we should go and have a look today given the decent weather forecast. Rodley Nature Reserve is near Pudsey, West Yorkshire, across a bridge from the main road in Rodley.

Half way up the motorway the heavens opened but thankfully not for too long, by the time we got there it was dry but still grey with no sign of the promised sunshine.

I've been to a few reserves with Paul over the last few years and this is the first one where the other folk there have been outwardly friendly, which was nice, as was the coffee in the visitor centre!

Our timing was perfect, we arrived at one of the hides just as a Kingfisher did and spent ages watching him in action.

Can't wait to go back, looks like it will be great place to visit in Spring and Summer.

Debbie.

Autumn Colours At Wharncliffe Crags

We had a ride up to Wharncliffe Crags yesterday, we've known about this place for ages but have never been able to find a way to get up there. We bit the bullet and went for it, then after a bit of scouting, we found that Station Road in Deepcar was the best place to park. There is a public footpath off that road which leads into the woods and then you basically follow the paths that lead upwards.

It's a very picturesque place, the Autumn trees against the golden brown of the bracken were beautiful. The view of Deepcar and Stocksbridge from the top of the crags is fantastic, only marred slightly by the numerous power lines in the area.

Images by Paul.

Images by Debbie.

I'm so glad we went yesterday, today it's blowing a gale and the rain is lashing down, not fit for venturing far from the sofa!

Debbie.